CHAPTER 132: KIERAN TRIALS
The day that went by had been like a usual routine. The boredom was written all over my face. I heard a knock on the door and as usual, Kieran stepped in. I thought he had come to drop a new book for me. I had become a bookworm as well for having nothing much to do as I was still subjected to bed rest. It turns out that having several bites from the vampire king wasn’t as easy as it seemed. Well, luckily, I got the bites and not someone else with less capacity to hold the pain.
As Kieran stepped in, my eyes searched his hand for the nook he had come with but I found nothing.
“You didn’t bring a book today”
“Yes, you’ve read all my good books but don’t worry I’ve sent for more.”
I looked away uninterested in what he had to say.
“But I think we should do something different today.”
That sounded a bit old. I haven’t heard that for a while.
“What do you want us to do?” I asked already knowing my answer to whatever he had to say.
“I spoke with the doctor and he said that you are doing fine. Recovering fast. So, I was wondering if we could spend the day together. Maybe go out to the gardens and feel the heat of the sun. You might have missed that. We could even play cards or maybe I could read the new books to you or you could read to me to take my mind off things. Whatever works for you,” he ended with a growing smile. I knew what he was doing and I liked that he was making efforts but all that would not take back the words that he had said to me. It would not wipe away the memory that was now stuck in my forebrain. That moment his visit irked me. I needed to be alone.
“Uhm…” I cleared my throat thinking of a better way to say the words without striking a nerve.
“I really can’t go out right now.”
“Why?”
“I still feel some pains in my…my legs and arms. Everywhere,’ I lied. I hadn’t felt better in weeks. It was a good day to see the sun.
“Oh, should I call the doctor?”
“No, I just want to rest and I want to be alone.” I forced a smile.Content is property © NôvelDrama.Org.
“Oh,” he nodded finally getting the picture. I didn’t blame him neither did I feel bad for turning him down. The fear that he might simply be doing his duty, the fear of him seeing me vulnerable and weak, kept me at arm’s length.
The next day, the satisfaction of staying locked in all day began to irk me. I felt the walls pressing against my head. I needed a breath of fresh air. I was due for some of that. As soon as the nurse did their rounds.
I walked out of the bed towards the door. Maybe I would take that stroll through the gardens by myself. But I craved to see those new books that Kieran had ordered.
Opening the door of my chambers, I was greeted by a sight that made my heart skip a beat. A beautiful bouquet of lilies, my favorite flower, stood on a table by the door. Beside them lay a box of chocolates, wrapped in a ribbon the color of the sunset, a color that reminded me of his favorite robe. Just amongst the flowers and chocolates was a folded note.
I picked them up and looked out. Perhaps the person who had dropped it was still out there. But there was no one. The hallway was as empty as I had expected. I walked back into my room shutting the door.
I turned the back of the note, Kieran was inscribed on it.
Just as I had expected, a smile creeper to my lips.
My breath hitched. This was exactly the kind of gesture I had craved, something sweet and simple that spoke volumes about his feelings. And for once, I basked in it. Suppressing the fear of the many what it’s.
I placed the basket of goodies on the bed. And picked up the bouquet first. Leading it up to my nose. Its smell reminded me of the good old days. When I would go out to the little garden at the back of the house with my father to pick up lilies for my mother. It was always a wonderful experience seeing the joy in her face whenever we presented it to her.
I placed the flowers back on the bed.
Then the chocolates came next. Typical milk chocolate in fancy packs. Not my style but it was good.
Picking up the note, I unfolded it, my heart pounding in my chest. But before I could even read the first word the smile suddenly dried in my lips. Anger took control.
What was this? It hurt me that I was falling for his little trap. Thinking that he could buy me off with flowers and a poorly written note.
With a growl that surprised even me, I crumpled the note and threw the entire arrangement flowers, chocolates, and all into the trash can. The delicate lilies lay crumpled amongst the discarded chocolates. I eyed it and walked back to bed.
Just then, I heard a familiar sound the heavy thump of Kieran’s boots approaching. I panicked looking at the mess that I had made. Maybe I should have had a little control over my emotions. I hadn’t meant to lash out like that but the damage was done.
The door creaked open just as I had anticipated and Kieran walked in. Just as he did, his gaze fell on the overturned flower vase and the crumpled contents of the basket, and his face went pale.
“Clara?” he said. I could hear the hurt in his voice.
I gulped.
I couldn’t see his gaze. I felt shame burning in my cheeks. It felt so hot threatening to consume me.
“I… I don’t need any of that,” I mumbled, my voice choked up in my throat. “Just leave me alone.”
Kieran could not find his words as he did not say anything to me. Neither did I say anything to him as well.
He didn’t move from his spot. And his eyes did not leave the trash can. Part of him seemed hurt, yes, but I guess he understood the reasons for my action as he still couldn’t find his words. Perhaps he understood the anger within me.? The same one that he had caused me.
He took a deep breath, “Clara,” he began, his voice low and gentle, “I know you’re scared. This whole situation is terrifying, and I can only imagine what you’re going through.”
His words sounded honest enough for me to want to listen to. My fear wasn’t just about the vampire venom, it was about allowing myself to be vulnerable, to open my heart to him only to have it shattered. Again.
“But shutting me out won’t make things easier,” he continued, “Let me be here for you, Clara. As your friend, as your… whatever you need me to be.”
My heart ached at the tenderness in his voice, at the way he was willing to be whatever I needed, just to be with me.
But the fear remained coiled up in my stomach. “What if things change, Kieran?” I whispered, “What if…”
My voice trailed off, unable to finish the terrifying question that haunted me: what if I allowed myself to fall for him, only to become a liability, a burden on his kingdom and him?
He walked closer to me stopping just a few feet away. But he didn’t take his eyes away from me.
“Clara, I don’t have all the answers. No one knows what the future holds. But I do know this I care about you. You’re more than just a responsibility to me. You’re… you’re important to me.”
These were just the words I needed to hear. But the fear whispered its doubts. Could I allow myself to believe him?