18 The Way We Were
18 The Way We Were
18 The Way We Were (Jayden)
Winona, younger, in a short dress, dancing. Her body moved in perfect time with the beat. Her smile is just for me, her eyes just for me. That feeling of jealously smashing through me.
A pain sears into my brain as the scene goes black.
"Okay. I've heard enough." I hold my head for a few seconds. "I need time to process all of this."
Lance looks at me. "You know. If you want her back, there is a lot to apologize for."
"I never said I wanted her back. I've just broken up with my fiancée for chrissakes."
Lance continues as if I've said nothing. "Sure, you have a somewhat valid excuse, you don't remember her. But you were pretty cruel three years ago and that wasn't called for. And that is coming from me, the person who has broken endless hearts." "I was angry, confused."
"None of this is anymore Winona's fault than it is yours. If you want her back, you'll need to start at ground zero by getting her to be friends again."
I shake my head. "I don't want to get Winona back."
"Sure you don't," Lance says sarcastically.
"Don't make me pissed."
"Like you have any other mood lately."
"I haven't been that bad."
"Bullshit. You've been a monster. I think you need to try and remember some things, maybe that will help."
"The whole problem is, I don't know if what I think I'm remembering is true or not. Maybe I dreamt half this crap. I just don't know. Who can I trust to tell me the truth."
"I'd say Winona, but that ship has currently sailed."
"No shit, Sherlock."
"I'm deeply wounded that you even need to ask who to trust."
"I dunno, Lance. You shouldn't have to be involved."
I'm pretty sure I already am. Plus I think Lisa was trying to drug me."
""What? Why?"
"Another thing you don't remember. Lisa used to well.., she used to think she loved me. When we were in college we had an arrangement for a while."
"Let me guess, you took advantage of that?"
"Not as such, once I realized her feelings were stronger than mine, I backed off."
18 The Way We Were
"Nice."
""I didn't want to lead her on."
"How long were you not leading her on for?"
"Half a year, maybe more."
"Damn, you dog."
"I swear, she said she was okay being F buddies."
"And you say I was clueless about women."
"Anyway, long story short. We had a major argument about relationships that night three years ago. I didn't realize she was still so hung up on me. I dunno, It'd been years since we'd had sex." Lance shrugs and I can tell by his face that he really doesn't get it. "I can't talk. After the night with Winona, finding out about the drugs in my system and all the pressure, I've been having sex with Ashlyn until I went to meet with Winona and Phillip.
"Well, bro, you are, were, engaged to her. No shame in that, surely?"
"Yeah, but then I just couldn't. I told her I needed to wait a while," I confess.
"I guess seeing Winona again like that really messed things up. Now here she is everyday. But she is the best at what she does."
"I know. But was I really feeling it with Ashlyn after Winona left? Just one big mass of confusion. But Ashlyn needed reassurance that I loved her and me not being physical messed with her head." I 'shrugged. "I had to make a decision and I chose Ashlyn. Winona was my past, I didn't want to dredge anything back up."
"But now the past is definitely back," Lance observes.
"I almost wish I could have another accident to forget all of this again," I say.
"You and me, both, Bro."
""What a mess."
"Why don't you just start by getting to know her all over again and see how that feels. Just be friends."
"I guess."
"But getting her to trust you again will not be easy."
"Perhaps I should start by finding out what my mother is up to and why she lied to Ashlyn and to me."
"Maybe you should."
But she's on vacay, so I better check in and see when she's planning to get back instead of selfishly enjoying the peace.
"I need to go. Thanks for the beers and the chat."
""No problem. I'm here, you know that. Bro-code."
18 The Way We Were
"Aww....does someone need a hug?" I say with a smile. I'd forgotten how much I love yanking Lance's chain.
"Piss off. Idiot."
I laugh and head out of the club, half hoping Winona is still out here with Lisa somewhere.
She isn't. I'm disappointed.
I wonder how it would go trying to make friends with her again? Is that what I want to do? Maybe it's what I must do to ever get any closure and move my life forward.
Memories or no memories, I need to be able to live life on my own terms. I need to stop being so vulnerable. From now on I'm questioning everything my mother says and I want solid proof.
I kinda get why Mom is protective of me but controlling my life this way isn't on. I've never let that happen before and she can't just take advantage of the situation.
It's late and she's probably sleeping but I sent my mother a text to say I need to speak with her urgently. I wonder if Ashlyn has already given her the heads up? I don't know if Ashlyn is telling the truth. Maybe this is a back-up they've concocted together if they ever got caught out. Who do I believe?
You know what, I don't care what time it is wherever she is.
I hit the call button and the call rings out. No answer. I disconnected. I'm not leaving a message and giving her a heads up. I want the element of surprise. I called again.This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.
"Jayden? What's up?"
"When are you home?"
"Ah, soon, darling, why?"
"So, you haven't heard from Ashlyn?" I'm trying to gauge her voice.
"Should I have? What's going on, Jayden?"
I don't know if I can believe her or not. "The wedding is off."
Mother laughs. "Oh, darling, it's just cold feet. Everyone has them. I'll be home tomorrow."
"It's not cold feet, Mother. Ashlyn lied to me about Winona and you have been as well. I'm not happy. I don't know who I can damn well trust. Not even my own mother." "Lied? What do you mean? Have you remembered something?"
Honestly, the next person to ask me that will be meeting their maker.
"Lisa has confessed tonight to accidentally drugging me. It had nothing to do with Winona. As far as I can work out, Winona is the only one telling me the truth."
+ hear Mother take a deep breath. "What? Lisa said what? Oh, come on. Those two are friends. Lisa would say anything to cover for Winona."
That could be true too. "But you said you had proof. You told Ashlyn you had proof that it was Winona. I'll
18 The Way We Were
need to see that proof. I'm no longer believing anythin
1 see."
"See you tomorrow, Mother. And you better not think i
"I wouldn't dream of it," she replies.
"I will be getting to know Winona again whether you II
19 Secrets Revealed