Chapter 37
ELEIA’S POV
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Aiden comes up , b***d on his hands , those big veiny hands that makes me feel safe are full of b***d .
I stand up from the couch , staring at him wide eyed , thinking that maybe he got hurt .
“Are you okay ?” I ask , halting as he smiles at me .
The smile makes me feel warm , but the sight of his bloody hands makes it cold .
He marches over to the bathroom and I follow suite , freezing in the door frame .
“Is he…”
Dead Eleia , is he dead , just say it .
“Is he dead ?” I finally ask , his back turned to me as he washes his hands .
“Of course .” I could hear the grin in his tone and some part of me feels lost .
Some part of me is confused as to how he could just kill him , but I guess if someone killed Rosie , I would want them dead too .
‘He’s an alpha , stop underestimating him .’ Crystal snaps at me and my eyes eiden at her tone .
I don’t necessarily like it , but she is right and it’s not like Aiden killed Regan for no reason .
“I have to go to their pack and you are going to stay here .” He demands and I roll my eyes .
“Of course .” My gaze lowers and I watch my foot swing back and forth .
“What do you mean by that ?” His tone is harsh .
My gaze drags up to him and his scrunched up face makes me roll my eyes .
“I mean that even if he’s dead , you still want me to stay here like I’m your possession , like I am jot a person but a thing .”
“I don’t think that , but I have no certainty that they won’t attack when I take Regan’s head to them .” His head shakes , his messy raven locks shaking along too .
“I can defend myself .” I scoff , “You are pregnant Eleia .” He frowns , stepping closer as he dries his hands .
“Pregnant , not useless .”
“You can get hurt , you can’t even shift .” He argues and everything he is saying makes sense , but I don’t actually care .
I know that I can’t go , but I want to , I want to see all their faces , I want to see his parent’s faces , I want to see his new mate’s face .
If they had mated , she probably felt his death and I am not sorry at all .
She was something that did not belong to him , she was a fake and it’s a scandal that men can choose a mate while we females have no choice just because they are bigger and stronger .
“Whatever .” I turn on my heel , looking at him forces a strong feeling in my chest , making me feel like I can’t breathe at the sight of him .
He infuriates me beyond my limit .
“Eleia , please don’t be mad .” He begs as tears form in my eyes , but I don’t want him to beg , I want him to disappear .
“Eleia .” His heavy footsteps are behind me before he catches my arm .
I swing it as I turn , hitting his jaw with the back of my hand , “Leave me alone .” I blink and the tears that were rested on the rim of my eyes roll down my cheeks .
My lips are parted as I glare at him , my narrowed eyes squeezing more salty tears out and they roll down my cheek , falling from my top l*p to my bottom one .
“What is going on with you ?” He frowns and I can’t drag my gaze away from the scratch mark on his jaw .
It fades quickly , but it was my fault that he got hurt .
I hurt him .
“Nothing…” I back away from him , “Just go .” I turn , shaking the guilt off .
“Eleia , I’m not going to go right now , especially when you are like this .”
He’s right behind me , I can feel it , I can sense it .
“Talk to me .” He mutters , begging for my attention but all I want is something he won’t give me .
For weeks he’s been or too disgusted to touch me or afraid that he’d hurt me , I don’t know which one and I certainly don’t want to know .
Whenever I trail my hand down his abdomen , he tenses up and grabs my wrist , turning me onto my other side and pulls me to his chest , holding me so that I can’t move .
I once asked him why and he said that he didn’t want to cause any harm to protect the baby .
At that moment , it made my heart swell , but literal weeks have gone by without us touching each other or having s*x and my hormones are through the roof .
“Eleia .” He rests his hand on my shoulder , turning me before pulling me into his embrace .
The warmth of his body takes me in , relaxing me a little bit , but the frustration builds up to where I wish my entire body would just relax , but it doesn’t .
I begin to sob and he rubs my back , but all I want is to hit him , but I don’t .
My hands fist his shirt and he pats my head , dragging it repeatedly down to my nape before starting on top again .
“Talk to me , what’s wrong ? Are you mad I killed him ?” The insecurity in his tone makes me shove him back , my red puffy eyes glare up at him .
“I don’t care if he’s dead . I don’t like him . He has nothing to do with this .” I bellow , my body bent forward as my nails dig into my palm .
“Then why are you like this ?” His hands are palms faced up as he gestures between us .
“Because you don’t want to touch me !” I yell at him at the top of my voice and his face falls as his eyes soften .
“Of course I want to Eleia .” He steps forward but I step back .
“Just stop , I know you’re disgusted with me and my child . You hate it because it’s his .” I keep him at arm’s length .
“I don’t.” He c***s his head , but I am tired of his lies , I know he feels disgusted with me , he barely holds me , he barely k****s me .
Regan’s death is the reason that he has a real smile on his face for the first time in weeks .
“Stop lying .” I choke on my words as I try to stop crying .
“Please , I will make this up to you .” He begs and I shake my head , “How ? By finally f*****g me ? No . I don’t want it . I don’t want you judging me .” I feel like I’m losing all self control and every thought that I have pent up in my brain for weeks are rolling out .
“Eleia , is that honestly what you think of me ?” He frowns and I shrug .
“It’s what I feel because that is how you act .” I mutter .
‘Calm down , our b***d pressure is high .’ Crystal growls possessively .
She’s done this a few times , letting me know when I need to stop worrying and shut my brain off to relax .
“Please go , I need rest .” I wave myself and he stares at my throat m watching me take heavy breaths before walking to his bedside table and he turns the air on .
“I’ll grab you a bottle of water .” He chews on his l*p , staring at me with sad eyes before he leaves .
I blankly stare at the door , repeatedly telling myself that everything will be okay , that I shouldn’t worry as much .
Laying down , Aiden comes back with a glass of water , staring at me with a smile as he approaches me .
“Are you okay ?”
‘Are you okay ?’ I tease in my mind as I glare at him .
“I’m fine , thanks .”
He tuts , shaking his head as he puts the glass down next to me .
“Don’t be mad at me .”
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“Would you like it to be ?”
I snort , rolling my eyes .
His fingers capture my chin and he stares at me , making me look at him .
“An attitude isn’t going to get you somewhere .” He whispers , making the air leave the room .
“Well being an a*s is going to get you attitude .” I swat his hand away and there’s a glint of amusement in his eyes .
“Tell me Eleia .” His hand rests on my bump , slowing travelling more down to my legs before he masssages my thigh .
“Tell you what ?” I snap , but on the insides , my heart is racing .
“If I love you right now ? Would you feel better ?” His eyebrow raises at me .
Yes
“No . Because you don’t want to .” I deadpan and his eyes grow dark .
“How do you know that ? How can you say that without knowing what I actually want ?” His fingers dig into the flesh of my thighs .
“Because first off , you’re hurting me .” I jerk my leg to the side and he lets go , shame filling his eyes , “And second off , if you wanted to , you would have already without me bringing this up .” A single tear slides down my cheek , but I refuse to act up .
I refuse to give in and let my temper win because I don’t want to lose my child .
This child has no father and I am all it has .
Regan is dead , Aiden won’t ever love the little one brewing inside me and I know that I am going to be all alone in this .
Rosie might stand with me , but she and Stefan are building their own home , she is going to have her own pup , but I know she’d side with me .
Maybe I should just leave , run , just my baby and I… But that isn’t going to be good because I have nowhere to go , I have nothing to take of the little pup .
If it weren’t for Aiden , I would be dead and I would have been at peace .
If I died in that pond , the pup would never have existed .
“I thought you needed time and I don’t want you to lose this pup Eleia .” He breathes out and I hate that he is saying all the right things , but on the other hand – he’s doing all the wrong ones .
His words don’t meet his actions and that shows how much he doesn’t want this pup with me .