Chapter 22
FALLON’S POV
I pulled back from the kiss and pushed his chest slightly, “no Hayden” I say meeting his regretful eyes.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you baby. Trust me” he says, we heard the door open and close. Thank god the guys left us, it is time we talk about everything, to clear out thing and maybe move on.
I looked at him with tears in my eyes, he still had his arms wrapped around my waist, “how can I trust you Hayden? Tell me!” I say softly. He looked down not meeting my eyes, “after everything I have been through? How do you wish me to believe you? I was broken Hade, I am broken. You ripped a part of me in such away that I cannot piece myself together.” I say sobbing in his chest, he wrapped his arms around my form and tucked his face on my head.
“I am so sorry baby! I was being a thickheaded jerk. My pride drowned me, baby. I lost the only good thing that happened to me, my chance of happiness. I lost you” he said in a strained voice tightening his hold on me, I continued to sob.
“I don’t know Hayden, I don’t know anything anymore. I don’t know if I can forgive you or even if I did I don’t know how I will forget those awful things. I am so lost Hayden. Why did you do that? Why did you betray me like that? I didn’t even do anything to you!” I said now full on crying. Remembering all those months I stayed up all night crying myself to sleep, not eating anything, felt no emotion. I was just existing, breathing because I had to.All content is © N0velDrama.Org.
“I know, I know! And no matter how many times I apologise, it won’t make it up for all the pain I have caused you. Baby please! Give me a chance! I’ll spend every second of my life making it up to you. I didn’t realise how much you mean to me untill I lost you. Now that I have you, dandelion, to make amends, I’ll will give my life to save yours even if we’re not together!” He pleaded. He should know the entire truth, I don’t know if he will forgive me for the mistake I made. I told myself.
“I was pregnant” I told him, I didn’t dare look him in the eyes. His hold loosen on me. There was a long pause, all sorts of thoughts swirling my head. It felt like eternity, “y-you were p-pre-pregnant with m-my child?” He asked, he sounded as if all the air was sucked out of his lunge.
“That day I came early because I wanted to surprise you with the news..” I said looking anywhere but at him. He stumbled back, “I need to sit” he mumbled to himself, pulling a chair near him and sitting. He looked in daze, no emotion seeped through, he didn’t have a hard face just plain.
But his eyes told a different story; pain, sorrow, regret, anger, loss and disgust. He looked back at me with same eyes, “where is my child?” He asked, the only question I dreaded. I burst into tears, not being able to utter a single syllable, a hand tugged me and I sat on top of him crying. He rocked me, “s-she didn’t make it!” I began weeping. That horrifying scene suddenly flashed before me. His hands dropped to his side, “h-how?” He asked looking devastated.
I looked at him and bit my lips, “I was under too much pressure. I-I wasn’t able to eat or l-look after ou-our baby. In the f-fifth month..” I stuttered in between my crying then I began full on wailing, “I had a miscarriage, Hayden..” I looked at him dead in the eyes. His eyes were red, tears streaming down his face, “I w-woke up to immense pain in my stomach. There was all blood, Hayden. So much blood!!” I said loudly and resumed crying, “I was taken to the hospital by my neighbors. The doctor said th-that she died in my womb due to lack of nourishment and being in severe stress. I was devastated, Hayden. She was the only one left in my life!! How did I let her die? I am not a good mother at all! How can a mother kill her own child?” I said in between my weeping. All those pressure, I couldn’t take it. I went limp in the arms of my love and darkness took over me.
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My eyes fluttered opened every so softly, I was greeted by darkness. My head was throabing in pain, I groaned and began to sit up. I looked to the side it was dark outside as well, the same calmness greeted me, the moon shining brightly. Her rays softly caressing everything it touched, her children, the stars gathered around her as if a mother telling her kid’s a story.
Kids.
I put my hand on my stomach, remember the early events that took place. The throabing pain numbed due to the pain that started in my heart. I was numb, every after all that, I didn’t feel any anger or pain, just numb.
I leaned back to the headrest looking outside as silent tears escaped my eyes.
“Thinking about it won’t bring her back” a husky voice said from the other side of the room making me jump. I didn’t look back, “I messed up, Hayden. I messed up big time” I said turning to look at him. He looked all disheveled, his eyes red shot, face void of any emotions leaning back on the single couch with a half empty bottle of Jameson. His first 4 buttons undone and his sleeves folded, he took a long swing of the light mercury liquid, “don’t blame yourself, love, I am the one to be blamed. If I wasn’t a dick, then I would have you and our princess in my arms” he said looking away.
A single year escaped his eye, ” it’s true that people say, pride is what that kills an arrogant man. My stupid pride not only killed me but took you and our child away from me!!” He said through clenched teeth, he took another swing of the bottle, now tears were making their presence known. The tears uncontrollably fell from his eyes, he bit his lips as if stopping himself from making a sound.
I looked at him with tears in my eyes, I slowly got up and walked towards him. He didn’t see me, just looking at the space like a dead person. He was about to take another swing when I caught his hand, he looked up at me. I put the now almost empty bottle on the table and sat on his lap.
He wrapped his arms around me while I brought his face closer to my chest, “don’t blame yourself for her. It was my choice not to eat and look after her. Her death is on my shoulder not yours” I say rocking him, he burried his face between my chest. His entire body was shaking as he cried, my shirt soaked his tears. I let myself cry for our baby as well, I rocked both of us as we cried for our dead daughter.
After what felt like hours of crying he quite down, he looked up at me, ” what was her name?” He asked me in a hoarse voice.
“Amelia Jade De’luca” I smiled looking at him with love, ” you gave her my last name?” He asked in awe. I smiled softly, “yeah I did. She was just like you, you know? She had blond hair and green eyes” I said as I remembered taking a very small, fragile baby from doctors arms. She was coated in blood.
When she didn’t cry I began wailing, shouting at the doctor to do something. I remember that day, my entire body was shaking when I finally realised my mistake. If I said I was broken because of Hayden, that scene before me tore me apart. I remember clutched her bloody form to my chest as I wailed, begging all powers above to give her back to me.
To say I was devastated would be an understatement, when I looked down at her very small body, all I saw was beautiful blond hair decorating her head. I caressed her cheeks softly as I whimpered in pain of loss. My heart broke when I tried to open her eyes, she was definitely his daughter. Tears were flowing down my face, I hugged her once more and rocked myself. I cried for her forgiveness, to give me one more chance to prove that I will take care of her and never let even a tear drop from her eyes.
I didn’t notice that I was telling all of this stuff to Hayden. He clutched me tightly and cried. Drowning himself in the whirlpool of self hatred and sorrow. We both continued to cry till the pain eased, it never did.
“Give me one chance to prove myself to you! ” Hayden said in between his cries, I looked at him shunned.
“Please baby, just one chance. I swear to god I won’t let you down this time, I will do everything in my power just to see you smile!” He said and pecked my lips softly, I could taste the Jameson and his tears on his lips.
“Just one chance, Hade. Don’t mess it up this time! I won’t be able to put together myself anymore!” I said with tears still streaming down my face.
He shook his head, “not this time baby, I won’t let you go” he said and kissed me vehemently. I smiled in the kiss and wrapped my arms around him tightly.