Maid for the Mafia Boss

I sighed while washing the dishes.

—

” Oh right, do you know why we went to Palawan at that time?” I turned to my brother, confused.

” Huh? Aren’t you all, like, called by Keian?” He grinned and shook his head.

” The two of you going to Palawan is all part of the plan” I got even more confused.

” What?:

My brother laughed before seriously looked at me.

” The two of you would go to Palawan and will spend the nights together. After that, we were supposed to follow to make preparations.”

” Preparations for what?” I’m getting nervous at whatever Khalil is going to say. It seems like bad news.

” Preparations for your engagement” my smile vanished.

” He was about to propose to you. Ha! I made him do some work to get my approval of you, marria— why is your expression like that, Nass?” I sadly looked at him.

” He was about to propose to me at Palawan?” He hesitatingly nodded.

” Why? If the proposal happened… You won’t say yes?”

Because of unknown reasons, I felt even heavier.

No…

—

” Nass, I’ll do that. I don’t want to be reprimanded by maitre when he sees that you’re the one washing…” I got out of my trance and smiled at Roxy.

” It’s okay, Roxy. I’ll take care of you. I’m not used to not doing any household chores” she lowered her head.

” B-but…”

” You still have to do something, right? There’s only a few left. Let me be,” I said to her.

Roxy pouted but also smiled at me.

” Ok. Then I’ll go upstairs now. I’ll help Ema” I nodded at her and watched her leave before going back to washing.

” Nass…” I stopped at what I’m doing when I heard Keian’s voice.

I breathed deeply before slightly facing him and smiled.

” Why, Keian?” His gaze went to the floor before going back to me.

” Why are you ignoring me?” He asked in a hoarse voice.

I blinked repeatedly.

” I-I’m not Kei—”

“BULLSH8T NASS! I know you’re ignoring me. and you don’t even want to be near me!” I jumped at his scream and punch on the counter here in the kitchen.

It’s good that I’m not holding a plate because if I am, it certainly will break on the floor.

I lowered my head and bit my lip.

” I want to know, Nass. I’m going crazy because you are not talking to me. Have I done something wrong?”

” You didn’t do—”

” Then why!? Why won’t you talk to me? Or the others? It has just been two weeks since what happened at Palawan, and it’s normal to feel depressed and–”

” I’m okay, Keian. I’m fine. I’ve moved on,” I said to him with emphasis.

” I’m tired of getting asked if I’m okay. I have no time to be depressed” his expression darkened, then he neared me.

I didn’t notice that my back is now turned away from him, and we’re facing the sink.

” And you won’t even look at me…” I closed my eyes at what he said.

No, Keian…

” I can’t understand, Nass. Why are you like this?” I almost shivered at how cold his voice.

I clenched my fist.

” If it’s not my fault, then why?” Why are you being like this?” Keian’s breathing is quick, which seems like he is holding something back.

” Because…”

” Because what?” I sighed.

” Because if it wasn’t for me, our child wouldn’t die!” I said it a little louder, and I heard it echoing throughout the mansion.

My back is at Keian, so I can’t see his reaction.

I want to see his reaction to what I said, but I don’t.

Does that even make sense?

” Baby…” Based on his voice, he is not pleased with what I said.

He put his left hand at my belly from the back while the other held my clenched fist.

I felt him bring his mouth closer to my ear.

” You’re so f—ing unfair, baby…” My mouth opened because of shock at what he said.

His grip on my hand tightened.

” Nass, did—” Keian and I both looked at Ema, who entered the kitchen.Original from NôvelDrama.Org.

Her eyes widened, and she quickly lowered her head.

” S-sorry. I must’ve disturbed you two. I’ll leave quickly…”

” It’s—”

” No, stay here” I turned to Keian at what he said.

Keian faced me to him and suddenly lifted me up like a sack.

” Keian!” I said at his name. We left the kitchen towards the stairs.

” Keian, bring me down!” His hold on me even tightened while he’s walking up to his room.

He slammed the door open and slam it close too.

” Keian! Are you going to destroy—”

” I don’t care about the door right now, Nass!” I just shut my mouth when he shouted.

He sighed and lowered me down to

the bed.

I was about to sit, but he gently pushed me to lay down on the bed then kneeled, his legs both on my side.

He breathed deeply then shakingly held my cheek.

His eyes are red…

” Why did you do that, Nass?” I wondered what he said.

What did I do…?

A tear fell down my cheek, but it’s not from me.

I looked at Keian’s eyes, who bitterly smiled.

” Finally! You looked into my eyes…” I let out a shaky breath when I saw that he’s crying.

” K-Keian”

” You shouldn’t do this, Nass,” my eyebrows furrowed.

” W-What?”

” Feeling guilty about what happened in Palawan. On what happened to our child! You think that all of that is your fault!” My hands went to his chest.

” No, I’m not—”

” Yes, you are, baby. That’s what it looks like to me! Look. You’re not the only one at fault for what happened. I’m one to blame too, one of the reasons why…” He stopped talking and closed his eyes.

” Our child died. I should be the one to blame more for what happened, so why do you think it’s your fault!?”

I weakly hit his chest because of irritation.

” I’m really the one to blame! If I didn’t talk to Lem, all of that wouldn’t happen!”

Maybe, things are getting clearer…

Maybe why I’m like this the past few days.

Even in myself, I don’t know why I’m like this the past few days.

” IF I HADN’T TALKED TO NAMI, ALL OF THAT WON’T HAPPEN!” My eyes widened when he shouted those words.

” I’ve been thinking that all over again for the past few days, Nass. I want to feel guilty for what happened to you. I am the one who’d made more mistakes, Nassandra. But I’m forcing myself not to think all of that. I don’t want to feel guilty because you once told me that I should not feel guilty for what I’ve done to you. That you understand everything that I did to you. So you should do that too. Don’t feel guilty, baby. You’re the one who’s suffering here the most. So don’t blame yourself!” I remembered the letter I wrote for him that I’m sure that he read when he thought that I’m already dead.

I slightly gripped his shirt.

” Who said I’m guilty?! I’m okay! I’ve already moved on!” Maybe if I remember all I’m saying right now later, I will slap myself.

Why?

Why am I feeling these… feelings?

Keian’s expression darkened as his face went closer to mine.

I got surprised when he kissed me on my lips.

” You’re not okay, Nass… You’re just telling yourself you’re alright. You had a miscarriage, that thought will not be forgotten after two weeks. Stop being in denial. Please don’t torture yourself. It’s okay to let it all out. It’s okay if you don’t feel good. I’m always here at your side. Because both of us are the cause of this mess. Not only you but the both of us. I will be with you ’till I die. So I ask you to trust me more. I am not blaming you too, baby. So, please.” I also put my hands on his cheeks and wiped a tear that fell down from his eyes.

” Kuya Khalili said that you were about to propose to me in Palawan…” His eyebrows arched.

” He told you that?” His voice has a hint of frustration, like he’s preventing his self from being mad.

” Yes… Not only did I ruin our trip to Palawan, ruin your proposal plan, but I also get our child—hmph.” What I’m saying got cut off when Keian kissed me again.

” Stop it. I don’t want to ever hear that again. Stop blaming yourself.” I stared through his eyes.

.

.

.

Then suddenly, I felt feelings of sadness, anger, and disappointment…

Disappointment for myself.

” Nass…” Keian wiped the tears away from my face as I took a deep breath.

” I-I’m not okay at all, Keian… I’m not okay *sniff*. You’re right. I’m feeling guilty about all that happened, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Keian… O-Our child is gone. And I can’t help blaming myself for that,” I sobbed loudly because, after two weeks of not crying and thinking that I’m alright, I realized that I’m not.

Maybe that’s the reason why…

Why I’m ignoring Keian, I’m ignoring them.

I touched Keian’s nape, and our foreheads met.

” It’s okay, Nass. I’m here…” Keian tightly engulfed me in an embrace and let me cry on his chest.

When I calmed down that afternoon, we continued our conversation. Clearing any misunderstandings we had.

And because of that, I felt relieved. The heavy feeling disappeared. And my heart gets more close to Keian.