The Bacelor: Make A Sex Deal

“So, what are you going to do about Oaklyn?” Declan asked, gaining my attention. “Are you going to tell your sister you want to date her best friend? Are you just going to keep it a secret and hope Hannah doesn’t find out?”

“I haven’t even had that talk with Oaklyn,” I admitted, relieved when the waiter showed up with our shots.

“Three more tequilas,” he said as he placed them in front of us. “Anything else-”

“Another round of shots. And you might as well bring me two more of these.” I held up my almost-empty vodka.

Macon and Declan nodded, signaling they wanted refills as well.

The second the waiter was gone, Macon said, “Hold on. You haven’t talked to Oaklyn about any of this? And she has no idea how you feel?”

How I feel?

Something I hadn’t even admitted to these guys, but they clearly had that answer without me saying a goddamn word.

I blew some air through my lips. “It’s complicated.”

“Because you like her and you’re not ready to tell her? That’s what you consider complicated?”

I no longer gave a fuck about the gel in my hair and grabbed the front that I’d spiked, tugging each of the strands. “Listen …” What the hell am I going to say? What is my reasoning? Why does all of this feel so hard? “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I’ve never really wanted to be in a relationship before. And now, I’m here, and it’s Hannah’s best friend, and Hannah will have my ass when she finds out.”

“And to top it all off, you’re about to take Oaklyn’s virginity.” Macon’s brows rose. “Unless you already have?”

“I haven’t,” I replied, “and that’s all I’m going to say about that.”

“A virgin, shit.” Declan chuckled. “What, you’re not going to tell us what you did to her in that alley?”

“Fuck no.”

Declan reached across the table and gripped my arm. “It’s all right, buddy. I get it. I wouldn’t say a word either-and not just because you’re Hannah’s brother and those details wouldn’t be appropriate.” He continued staring at me. “You care about her.”

I filled my lungs. “Yeah, I do.”

“And you want more with her,” Macon stated.

I nodded. “I think so.”

“You fucking think so?” Macon pushed.

I released my hair and held the glass, taking down everything but the ice. “I know I don’t want her to be with you”-I nodded toward Macon-“or him.” I made the same gesture at some random dude in the bar. “I don’t want anyone touching her … but me. That’s what I know. And I also know I enjoy being around her. Talking to her. Listening to her.” As I halted, I saw her face in my mind. “She’s beautiful and sweet and kind and brilliant. Man, is she brilliant.”

“Wait, wait. You’re telling me you listen to her?” Declan challenged. “I wouldn’t have pegged you as a man who listens.”

I shook my head. “I don’t, but with her, I do.”

“She makes you a better man,” Declan said.

I thought about what he’d said. I really let those words sink in. “She does, and I haven’t even really let her in yet. I can’t imagine how I’m going to feel if we get together.”

“You mean, when you get together,” Macon corrected.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

“But Hannah-”

“Don’t make this about Hannah,” Declan said, interrupting me. “You do what you need to do with Oaklyn first. Figure out where you want things to go with her. Talk to her, tell her how you’re feeling. And when it’s time, you sit your sister down and lay it all out on the table.”

“I agree with him,” Macon added. “He gave you good advice.”

“And you don’t think I’m going to make it worse by not immediately coming clean with Hannah?”

Declan rolled up his right sleeve. “I was in your situation not that long ago, except I had to go to my best friend and tell him I was dating his much younger cousin. A best friend who also happened to be my boss.” He hissed out some air. “But I didn’t stop at Dominick. I also spoke to Ford and Jenner.” He finished the rolling and moved on to his left sleeve. “At the time, not only did I think my job was at jeopardy, but I also feared how they would respect me as a friend. That shit was tough. I got through it, and you will too.”

“I’d take telling those three guys over Hannah any day of the week,” I confessed.

“She can’t be that much of a hard-ass,” Macon said.

Declan laughed.

And I emptied the ice into my mouth, crunching down the pieces before I said, “It’s not that she’s a hard-ass; it’s that she’s my twin. Her respect means everything to me. I don’t want to disappoint her. I don’t want to upset her. And you know what would hurt even worse?” I couldn’t believe I was saying this. That I was even thinking it. “If she doesn’t think I’m good enough for Oaklyn. That would fucking destroy me.”

“She puts her on the highest pedestal,” Declan said.

I nodded. “She deserves that placement. She’s such a good fucking girl. So much better than me.” The back of my throat burned as I said, “I don’t deserve her.”

“Because you’ve been a dog with women?” Macon asked. “Come on. Every dude at this table has slept his way around this town. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of. But that doesn’t make us bad people. It just means we think with our dicks.”

“What he said,” Declan mumbled. “Besides, I’m no better than you, so if Hannah wants to be with me, then there’s no reason why she wouldn’t want you to be with Oaklyn.”

“Maybe,” I whispered. “Or maybe she’ll fucking gut me for taking Oaklyn’s virginity and despise me for going behind her back and going against the promise I made that I would stay away from all of her friends.”

“Have some faith, my friend,” Macon said.

As the waiter returned to our table, I held my phone and typed a reply to Oaklyn’s message, knowing my response was going to surprise her.

ME

Well, you’re right; your mouth has certainly been on my mind. Like I told you that night, you really know how to give head, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want it right now.

But there’s another thing that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. That’s the way you looked at me when you came out of the restroom and saw me standing there. The expression on your face.