Decision
The day was not yet fully bright when Elice opened the door to her home. The atmosphere inside felt quiet, but far from peaceful. Elice could sense it clearly.
Since that day happened, for some reason, Elice knew that the atmosphere at home had changed. The peace that once existed had vanished, replaced by a lingering grief that persisted even as the days passed.
Walking in and closing the door gently behind her back, Elice made her way through the dark living room. However, she could still see the picture displayed on the wall. A photograph capturing the happiness of Elice with her parents, Wilda Russell and Peter McLean.
Not continuing her steps immediately, Elice found her feet stopped right beneath the happy portrait. Her hand lifted, attempting to touch the photo but had to settle with feeling its frame.
Elice bit her lower lip, realizing that after Peter’s departure, she almost failed to keep Wilda’s smile from wilting. No longer did her mother experience happiness, but rather feelings of shame and sadness that Elice often caused. It felt like a heartache, but she was powerless to avoid the fate that had been written.
Up until now, Elice’s feelings of regret intensified when she realized something. If she had not loved a certain man, she would not have experienced all of this. It seemed ironic, but Elice felt that life was unfair to her. How could the person she loved so deeply be the one causing all these misfortunes to befall her?
Enough, Elice. Forget it. Please, forget it.
Clenching her still lingering hand on the frame, Elice closed her eyes. She reminded herself, awakened herself. There was no use for her to immerse herself in that sorrow. All the regrets and tears would not change her past.
“It’s just the past. And what people see in us is… only our appearance.”
For some reason, at that moment, Garrett’s voice echoed in Elice’s mind. It came at the right time. Because after that, she realized the truth in those words.
It’s all about appearances.
Leaving that spot with a heavy gait, Elice understood that her past would remain bitter. No matter how much regret she felt, it would not change what had happened. She had fallen, but she knew there was someone who did not want to see her drown in that sadness.
Elice opened the bedroom door, peeking inside. She saw Wilda still sleeping under the blanket.
*
“You didn’t come home last night, dear. Where did you go?”
Elice was not the least surprised that the morning breakfast would start with a question from Wilda. She took a quick breath, forcing a faint smile. Right after she swallowed the food in her mouth, she answered.
“I’m sorry, Mom, for not giving you any updates. Last night, I stayed over at a friend’s house. I completely forgot to contact you.”
Wilda remained silent for a moment, looking directly at her only daughter. And she knew the truth. After all, Elice was her only child. She clearly understood that Elice hardly had any friends. Her daughter was lying.
“Oh, I see,” Wilda sighed, smiling as she reached for her glass. “It’s alright. Besides, you rarely hang out with your friends.”
It did not feel comforting for Elice to lie to Wilda. But what could she do? She could not be honest either. She could not possibly tell her mother what really happened, could she? That she met a stranger and spent the night with him?
Allowing a few moments of silence to pass, Elice gazed at the grains of fried rice on her plate. She was lost in thought for a moment, considering what had occupied her mind a few moments ago.
“Mom.”Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.
Softly and almost in a whisper, Elice called out to Wilda. The middle-aged woman, who had finished her breakfast, turned to look at her daughter, noticing something different in her expression.
Wilda waited until Elice continued her sentence.
“What do you think about moving?”
Silence lingered for a moment as Wilda stared at Elice, as if trying to assess her seriousness. And she found it. There was no trace of doubt in Elice’s eyes. Her daughter seemed so sure.
Without asking, without doubting, Wilda nodded. “I agree.”
It felt suffocating for Elice to be able to breathe. Wilda’s approval without any questions made her feel utterly overwhelmed. It was as if her heart was being squeezed by invisible hands.
“Where are you planning to move to?” Wilda inquired. “Brookwood, Pinecrest, or-”
“We’re moving to Ashford City, Mom.”
Elice’s straightforward answer cut off Wilda’s question. Not only that, but it also made her mother look at her intensely for a few moments. However, she then nodded.
“That seems like the right choice.”
Honestly, Elice felt that it was not the right choice. She was almost acting purely out of impulse. But now, she had nothing else to risk.
“Thank you, Mom. I’ll prepare everything quickly.”
Wilda nodded.
With just that one approval, Elice took her first step. This was the biggest decision she had ever made in her life. Full of risks and possibilities of failure. But Elice was determined to leave behind all the memories she had in Crestdale. She would start a new life, turn a new leaf, in a new place. Because she was sure of one thing.
“It’s just the past. And what people see in us is… only our appearance.”
Right. Of course. People in her new environment would only judge her based on her appearance. And Elice would make sure her appearance would be enough to cover up all the dark past she had.
In the afternoon, after bidding farewell to Wilda, Elice headed to the salon. Determined to get rid of her black hair, which had been her pride and often gave her a natural, innocent look. Elice no longer desired that label. At twenty-seven years old, she was no longer proud of it. She wanted to let go of it, trade it for a new identity.
Dark brown balayage was the color that now adorned Elice’s hair. It gave her a sensual and elegant impression that perfectly complemented her Oceana skin tone, which was tanned.
“Perfect color choice. Absolutely right, especially with your long, natural wavy hair,” praised the hairstylist.
It did not seem like mere flattery. When Elice looked at her reflection, she was mesmerized. What he said was true. The color suited her perfectly.
A smile blossomed on Elice’s face. Without hesitation, she nodded, fully agreeing with the compliment. “I love it.”
Standing up from the chair, Elice could not help but marvel at her new hairdo. She admired it, caressed it, and felt how the long waves glistened in their new color.
It seemed that Elice’s decision to truly care about her appearance was the right one.
Elice smiled, both at the hairstylist and herself. “Thank you.”
Leaving the salon with her new hairdo, Elice realized that she needed more than just that to truly move on. The trauma of her unfortunate event and the lingering effects would not disappear just by changing her appearance and hairstyle. She was somewhat doubtful if it would have a significant impact on her. But when she remembered her plans laid out ahead, her determination strengthened.
I have nothing left. I have lost everything. And now… I have nothing to lose.
Like a warrior, Elice was now fighting only for her own life. There was no kingdom she needed to protect. No people she needed to safeguard. No wealth she needed to secure.
It might seem harsh, but Elice realized it was an advantage for her. There were no chains binding her steps. She was an empty glass. Even if she fell, it would not create a mess. It would only be pieces of herself scattered around.
A ping from her phone made Elice stop in her tracks. She checked to find a message from a number that made her determination waver.
[ Ariel ]
[ Elice, where are you? ]
[ Can we meet? ]
[ There’s something I want to tell you. ]
Elice exhaled briefly. No, of course not. She would not meet Ariel. In fact, she would not even reply to the message.
So, Elice quickly made her way to the restroom. There, she discarded her SIM card into the trash and restarted her phone.
“I guess I need to get a new number.”
Because when she decided to glance at her reflection in the restroom mirror, she saw her unfortunate self there. In the embrace of an unfriendly past. But something made her pause, thanks to the voice that echoed in her mind again.
“By looking in the mirror and seeing how much you have.”
It might sound strange and irrational. But to Elice, who had drowned her life in the pool of regret for months, it was a blessing. Thanks to a gentle stranger who treated her so tenderly, she suddenly felt that confidence grow.
There are still men out there who treat you with tenderness. There are still men who look at you with admiration. And it seems… you are still valuable.
Whether ironic or dramatic, Elice could move forward thanks to one unexpected night. A long night she would leave behind as a part of the past she wanted to forget.
*