The billionaire’s true love

Part 33Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

The words registered in my mind, but my brain could not comprehend. It was like Trent froze my brain with just three words. Did he really just tell me he loved me? Was this even real? The man who made it his mission to piss me off every chance he gets was now telling me he loved me?

Yes, it is real. Now kiss him!

I did not listen to the nagging voice in my head that was telling me to throw everything out of the window and kiss Trent with all my heart. Instead, I listened to the doubt creeping its way in my mind; telling me it was all too good to be true, and Trent’s past actions did not support his statement.

“Wh-What?” I blinked twice, to bring myself back from the confines of my thoughts.

“I love you, bumblebee. You were the only woman occupying my thoughts and attention since the day I saw you at that dinner party. I hadn’t been able to think about any other woman. It’s only ever been you,” Trent replied, a soft smile on his face.

I ran my eyes over the room which was filled with my photographs from floor to ceiling, not knowing how to respond to him. I wanted to believe him, I really did. But I was scared. Scared of believing him. What if this was just a dream and I would wake up only to find Trent hating my guts?

“Bu-But, all those things you did. That’s not love,” I argued. His actions were too fucked up to be given the name of love.

Trent sighed, a defeated look entering his eyes. “Unfortunately, that’s the only way I know how to express my love. I thought once I’ll marry you, I will show you just how much I love you. That I would make you the happiest woman alive.

“I know what I did was not something a tranditional man would do, but it’s the only way I believed was right. And so I went with my instincts,” he confessed.

My attention was focused on him. So much so, that I forgot everything else that was around us. No longer did I care about the thousand of photographs pasted to the walls. No, all I saw was Trent. All I heard was Trent.

Believe him. Believe him before it’s too late and he moves on to another woman!

My subconscious pointing out my greatest fear jarred me back into action. “But you know it’s wrong,” I said. I didn’t want Trent to move on. Never. He said he loved me and I would hold on to that.

“Yes. But it doesn’t seem wrong to me. Whenever I see other men looking at you, all I want to do is to throw you over my shoulder and hide you from their disgusting eyes. Whenever some man comes and stands close to you, all I want to do is to mark your skin and stake my claim on you in front of the whole world,” he replied.

His words had my cheeks heating up like I had been standing in the sun for too long. A normal woman would find his words scary and obsessive. But I was not a normal woman; at least not after this. Because his words did not scare me; no, they contradicted the doubt in my head regarding Trent.

“Is that why you did all this? You cuffed me to your bed and forced me to wear a diamond ring becase you love me?” It was now that I was starting to see why I was so drawn to him. It was not his looks, nor his confidence and swagger. No, it was his soul. The way he was so different from other men, and how he did things a normal person might not understand. It was the many facets of his soul that he was slowly revealing to me, which made me fall for him.

It felt like the mist from my eyes had finally cleared and I was starting to see what my heart saw all along. The beautiful man who stood in front of me, looking like he wished he did things differently. Trent was pleading with me to accept him and his strange ways of living life.

Yes. Accept him. Love him.

This time, it was my heart which spoke to me. It had successfully shut my mind, preventing me from listening to rational thinking. But maybe, my heart was being rational. Maybe I should listen and do what my heart tells me.

“O-Okay,” I finally said, taking a deep breath, as if preparing myself for a wild adventure. And I was sure life with Trent Benson would be nothing but a crazy adventure, one I was ready to go on.

“Okay?” Trent’s eyebrows furrowed, confusion evident in the dark irises.

I nodded. “Yes. I believe you. I know you were not an ordinary man, and you only confirmed that by acting in ways I could never imagine. And I always viewed your actions in a negative manner, never tried to see things from a different perspective. And I’m sorry for that.” I took a deep breath. “But now, now I see what you mean. I understand why you did all those things. Though they scared me and pissed me off, I shouldn’t have expected anything else from you. You are not ordinary, Trent, it was unjust to expect ordinary things from you.”

For a while, Trent just stared at me. And I met his gaze with my own. I wanted Trent to know that I understood him; that I was ready to hold his hand and let him love me. I could see the man that was pleading for me to accept him. And I was a fool not to see what my heart saw. They usually said that the heart always led you into trouble, and that listening to the mind was the right thing; but as I gazed at the man who claimed to love me, I realized that it was my heart that was right.

“You believe me?” He blinked once, then twice. The way his long, thick lashes fluttered with every blink had me transfixed. This man appeared perfect, but he needed someone to make him perfect from the inside. And for some reason he picked me to do that.

“Yes, I do.” I smiled at him. I didn’t know why he was like this, but I intended to find out. Maybe I would do just that before I told him he had captured my heart without even knowing it.

“Then-” Trent looked unsure, worried. “You accept me? Are you willing to be mine?”

Don’t say yes, yet. Make him beg!

I knew I said that my subconscious misled me, but I couldn’t help but lean towards the suggestion my inner voice was offering. My heart and mind would always be in a disagreement; in the end, it was up to me to decide which to agree with.

“I-” Trent cut me off before I could say anything.

“It’s okay. You do not have to say anything. I know what I’ve done is unforgivable and all I can do now is tell you how much I regret hurting you,” he stated.

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say,” I argued.

Trent shrugged, a forlorn look shadowing his handsome features. The expression did not suit him, not at all. I wanted to wipe it away and see that confident smirk that pissed me off and melted my heart at the same time. Trent was a confident man, nothing less than arrogance suited him. Normally, I hated men that were arrogant, but not Trent Benson; he wore his arrogance in such a way that made him appear sexy.

“I know what you want, shady. You want someone who would sweep you off your feet and give you roses and shower you with compliments and endearments every chance he gets. You want to be wooed and courted and not have someone force their way in your life. I know that. And that is why, I know what you are going to say,” he replied.

“Oh really? And what is it that I am going to say?” I enquired with raised eyebrows.

“Exactly what I just said. You asked me before why I couldn’t do things like normal men and ask you out on a date. The truth is, I don’t know how to court women the normal way. I’ve always been taught how to take whatever I wanted, and not worry about anything. And then circumstances made me all the more ruthless and cold, that I stopped caring what the world wanted or about the feelings of people. I did whatever I wanted and I will continue to do so; it’s not something I can get rid of, not when it’s all I’ve been taught my whole life.”

Damn! He talks a lot! Much more than Hailey.

“Trent-” he cut me off once again. What was wrong with him? Usually he was so confident and didn’t give a fuck about what I said or did. And now, he was acting like I had crushed his heart and handed the broken pieces back to him. He was judging me-assuming things without even listening to what I had to say.

“It’s okay, Amanda. I understand. You don’t have to tell me that I’m an obsessive asshole. It’s not easy for people to understand me, so I’m not surprised that you can’t either. I love you, and I want you to know that I will always love you; even if you don’t love me back.”

My decision was made. I would ask Trent why he was like this. There was obviously some history behind his words. Something had happened that made him act like the devil’s son, and I would not stop until he tells me everything. He was obviously hiding something, always had been. But now, I could see through the cracks. I could see the troubled man hidden underneath the sexy billionaire. And this time I would not evade him. This time, I would make him tell me everything.

“Would you just listen to me!” I nearly yelled. This man was infuriating. But I loved him. Damn, he owned my heart.

Trent shook his head. “I can’t. I know what I did was wrong. I will make it up to you. In some way, I will make it up for all those times I hurt you.” He looked defeated. He looked like he’d given up. And that nearly shattered me. I always admired Trent for his confidence and tenacity. He was willing to trample anyone just to get what he wanted. And now he was giving up.

I would not allow it. Never.

“Trent, stop it.” I gritted out, getting frustrated. If he would just shut up and listen to me for two minutes, it wouldn’t kill him. But no, he just kept on talking and talking.

“No, I have to make you happy. You are not happy. I want you to be happy with me, in my presence, and that is going to be a difficult task to achieve. But I will try my best. I will make you smile, bumblebee. That beautiful smile should always be on your face,” Trent responded, my words falling on deaf ears.

“How can you say such things without even listening to me?!” I wanted to slap him. The biggest problem with these billionaires was that they believed they were always right. Even if the other person was trying to tell them the right thing, they would disregard their words. I didn’t even understand how they become billionaires. At least this one did that.

“I don’t need to listen to you to know that you are hurt, because of me. And I have to fix it. I hurt your feelings, and I will make it up to you. And it looks I’ll have to do that by giving you the one thing you’ve always wanted,” he said.

For some reason, my heart rate picked up at hearing his words. What did he mean by that? What was he going to give me? I never asked Trent for anything, so what could he possibly give me?

“And what is that?” I was almost scared of hearing his answer. Why? I did not know.

“Freedom from me.” Those words. Those were the words that brought tears to my eyes. No, he would not do that. He could not do that after telling me he loved me. No, no, no.

“What are you trying to say?” My voice cracked, but I did not care. I was not worried about Trent seeing my tears. I was worried about him leaving me.

“I’m saying that I will let you go. You are a strong, independent woman and keeping you tied down is not fair to you, especially when it’s costing me your happiness. I wanted you to be happy with me, but I don’t think that will ever be possible-I’ve hurt you too much.” Trent stepped back from me, giving me space to leave. “So now, I will not stand in your way any longer. You can leave now, I will not stop you.”

Shaking my head, I all but threw myself in Trent’s arms. He caught me, surprise evident on his face. I buried my head in the crook of his neck and let the tears loose. No way, was I leaving him. He could not just tell me he loves me and tell me to leave him the next minute. No, I’d evaded him for too long, not anymore. It was time to give in to my feelings and accept this complicated man.

“No, I won’t. You can’t tell me you love me and then tell me to leave. This is not how things word, Trent! You can’t keep doing this!” I screamed.

“Don’t do this to me, Amanda. You have no idea how difficult it is for me to tell you to leave. I can’t stop myself if you say things like this,” he stated, his arms tightening around me.

“Then don’t! Don’t stop yourself! I am not leaving you. So don’t tell me to walk away. Do you hear me?!” I looked up at him, wanting him to know that I meant every word.

“Don’t say it unless you mean it,” he said, softly.

“I mean it. Every word, Trent,” I replied.

His responding kiss made me feel like I had been transported to another world. It was hard and passionate, brutal yet tender. It was exactly like Trent.

“You are willing to be mine?” He murmured, his breath fanning my face.

“Not until you tell me everything about yourself,” I stated.

“Everything?”

I nodded. “Everything.”

Trent sighed. “Alright. What you want is what you will get. I will tell you about myself.”

“Right now.” I told him.

“Okay.”