The Impact of You

Chapter 18

Avery

In the morning, Jase’s mom redeems her cooking abilities by making the most delicious homemade waffles with fresh blueberries. We gather around the table, eating quietly, but I can feel Jase’s eyes constantly wandering to me. He and I haven’t said much to each other after last night’s extremely heated make-out session. I didn’t think Jase was used to going too slow, but I was proud we kept things under control. Even though our shirts were off, our pants stayed firmly in place. Which wasn’t easy, especially since I could feel Jase’s arousal straining against his jeans. Sheesh. I need to keep my mind out of the gutter. I focus on taking another bite of the waffles in front of me.

“So…what should we do today?” Jase asks.

“You guys do whatever you’d like,” his mom answers.

Jase turns to look at me, measuring my reaction.

I shrug, my expression relaxed and open.

“Well, I thought we could hang out with you today,” Jase says to his mom, “And then tonight I could take Avery out and introduce her to a few of my friends.”

“Yeah, that sounds great. I’m open to whatever.” I feel surprisingly at home and comfortable being with Jase and his mom. There’s none of the awkwardness of being a house guest, or trying to force polite conversation just to fill the silences. We’d broken through that pretty quickly last night – gotten into some pretty heavy topics, which Jase navigated us through with ease. He has an easy-going nature about him that makes people feel instantly comfortable. I like being around him. I feel accepted and at ease, which for me is really saying something. These last few years, I haven’t always felt comfortable in my own skin, let alone in the company of a guy like Jase. I’m glad I met him and gave him a chance. Despite what I’d heard about his reputation, he’s been nothing like the hard-partying, womanizing frat

boy that Madison made him out to be. And truth be told, I actually like that he has a past he isn’t proud of. It might make it easier for him to accept mine knowing he isn’t perfect, either.

I help Jase’s mom with the breakfast dishes while Jase does a few chores around the house – changing a light bulb in the garage and replacing a battery in a smoke detector. It feels very natural and homey being here with them. I am thoroughly enjoying the weekend break away from campus and the dorms.

We lie low the rest of the day, relaxing at home with his mom. She makes us lunch and even breaks out Jase’s baby albums. He was the cutest, chubbiest, blond-haired, blue-eyed baby ever. Seriously, he could have been a model.

Jase sits in the armchair and frowns while his mom and I huddle together on the couch, flipping through the pictures, giggling and murmuring what a cutie he was. Seriously, he was blessed genetically. I have no doubt that someday he will make beautiful babies.

Jase says the night will be low-key, just a casual get-together at his friend Radar’s apartment. Apparently, his friend Steve’s last name was Radaresky and everyone had called him Radar since eighth grade. Jase has been friends with this group for years and he tries to visit them whenever he’s home for the weekend. They’d chosen to remain in town and get jobs rather than go off to college. He also mentions this is a group of friends his dad doesn’t approve of. No wonder Jase is so loyal – it seems he’d do just about anything to defy his dad.

I dress in a pair of skinny jeans and layer a couple of long-sleeved tees on top. The nights are starting to get cooler as fall settles in. Jase meets me in the foyer, looking scrumptious in jeans and a light blue hoodie that brings out the blue in his eyes. Only Jase can make jeans and a sweatshirt look sexy. Sheesh, I’m in trouble.

Jase kisses his mom goodbye. “We’ll be late, Mom, so don’t wait up.”

“Okay.” She waves us off.

It’s a quick drive across town to an older brick-front apartment building. Jase leads me up three flights and taps on the door in a series of secret knocks before pushing it open. It’s interesting to get a glimpse of his life outside the frat house. I like all the sides he’s showing me: first, the sweet, caring side with his mom, and now his willingness to introduce me to friends from home.

“Hey!” A scrawny blond guy yells when Jase comes through the door. “Adonis!” he says, lifting his glass in a mock salute.

“Adonis?” I ask Jase, trailing behind him to enter the apartment.

Jase chuckles and shakes his head. “Greek god.”

That’s right. Adonis was the Greek god for beauty. I can see that. He has a freakin’ eight pack for Pete’s sake. Not to mention that gorgeous face, piercing blue eyes and his perfectly styled hair that looks like he’d rolled out of bed after a sexy romp. But it’s funny to me that even his male friends are aware of his superior status and tease him about it.

He takes it good-naturedly – the look on his face is relaxed and amused. He leads me toward a round felt-lined poker table and toward the group of guys in the middle of a card game. He introduces me to Radar, the wide-smiling blond who called him Adonis; Dave, a shaggy-haired hippie type; Sal, an olive- skinned cutie with a baseball cap pulled low over his eyes; and Matt, a tall red-headed guy with the lightest blue eyes I’d ever seen. They all say hello, but it’s obvious we are interrupting their game.

We venture into the living room next, where a guy and girl are playing a video game and another girl sits sulking on the end of the sofa. Jase doesn’t introduce me, but I see them exchange a glance that’s anything but friendly. I sense they have a past, and as curious as I am, part of me doesn’t want to know. I’m already aware of Jase’s history with girls, but that doesn’t mean I want to sit there while a girl he’d slept with shoots daggers at us with her eyes.

I tug on his arm. “Can we get something to drink?”

“Sure.” Jase looks relieved to leave the awkwardness behind.

We stand in the kitchen sipping from bottles of beer while the question about who the bitter girl is in the other room remains unspoken on the tip of my tongue. Part of me just wants to ask him, but I hold it in. I’m not dating him and I’ve told him practically nothing about my past, so what gives me the right to pry?

Jase looks thoughtful, leaning against the counter like he wants to say something. “The answer to your question is yes,” he says finally.

“What question?”

“You’re wondering if I slept with that girl in there.”

Whoa. His honesty levels me. “And you did?”

He nods. “In high school.”

“Why are you telling me this?” He doesn’t owe me an explanation.

“Because I know you could sense something and I want to be honest with you.”

“Oh.” Honesty. What a concept.

“It was only once, drunkenly at a party. I think she was hoping it’d turn into something more.”

I study him, his navy blue eyes, his chiseled rough jawline dusted with light stubble. I can see how girls probably throw themselves at him, hoping it’ll turn into more. “But it didn’t?”

He shakes his head. “I was a dick back then. It was my senior year of high school, and I was getting ready to leave for college. I didn’t want to be tied down with a girlfriend; I wanted to play the field. And when she told me she’d always liked me, I assumed she’d be okay with one night…”

While I couldn’t relate to exactly what that girl had gone through, I did still know the string of rejection when the guy you’d given yourself to physically didn’t value it. “You should go talk to her. Apologize.”

Recognition crosses his features, but before he can answer, Radar comes strolling into the kitchen. He and Jase share a bro hug – the kind that comes with a hand shake and then a couple of loud pats across the back. Then Radar turns to me.

“Welcome to Radar’s love palace.” His hands sweep out in front of him, indicating a tiny messy kitchen, and dim, sparsely furnished apartment beyond. If he believes this is a love palace, I’m certain Radar hasn’t seen any action in quite some time.

“Dumbass.” Jase playfully shoves his friend on the shoulder. “Keep an eye on Avery for a minute. I’m going to talk to Lauren.”

Radar nods. “Sure thing, boss.”

I don’t know what might come of it, but I am proud of Jase for at least trying to make amends with the girl.

Radar grabs a fresh beer from the fridge before surveying me up and down with a smile. “Jase must be pretty serious about you. He’s never brought a girl home for the weekend before.”

I flush pink. “Oh no, we’re just friends.”

Radar laughs, a dimple appearing next to his mouth as his smile widens. “Trust me. He wants to be more.”

I want to dispute it, but I wonder if Radar could be right. I’m not sure what’s going on between me and Jase, only that I like where it’s headed.

Jase

Avery is quiet on the ride back to my mom’s. She spends the drive flipping through the radio stations. I can tell there’s something going on inside her head, but I don’t pressure her. I know she isn’t quite there yet with me, I know she’s getting closer to letting me in. Especially after I’d manned up tonight and apologized to Lauren.

Avery and I didn’t stay long at Radar’s after my conversation with Lauren. It started off awkward, but as soon as I’d uttered the words I’m sorry, her shoulders dropped and she’d instantly relaxed around me. After that, the words just came to me. I told her how I’d used girls as a distraction to escape my home life, and she admitted she learned girls can’t trap guys into a relationship simply by getting physical. We talked for about fifteen minutes, each of us more comfortable and relieved by the end of the conversation. I knew things wouldn’t be awkward if I ran into her again. The whole experience was a revelation.

Afterwards, I found Avery and Radar where I’d left them in the kitchen, laughing over a story he was telling her. We stayed a little longer, visiting with the guys before calling it a night. The mood changed after my conversation with Lauren, and plus I didn’t mind leaving early because the thought of being alone with Avery appealed to me more.

The house is dark and quiet, but I can navigate my way in the dark, so I place a hand on Avery’s lower back and guide her to the stairs. Once we’re on the landing, I walk her to the door to the guest room and stop, rather than bringing her to my room like I really want to do.

She isn’t mine, and last night I probably pushed things too far. And sensing Avery’s quiet, contemplative mood on the drive home, I stand silently with her at the door to the guest bedroom. Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.

“I’m proud of you for apologizing to Lauren,” she says finally.

I’m quiet while I watch her. I’m not sure what she wants from me, what she needs. If I did, I’d give it to her, without question. But those sad eyes of hers are hard to read. I lean down and plant a kiss on her forehead. “Night, Whistle.”

She nods once, blinking those wide green eyes at me, then disappears into the guest room.