He raped me
Christine.
I swallowed hard as he said that, almost as if he was in pain.
I’m still baffled at the fact that Fanuel was opening up and telling me things. It felt so genuine to know that he was willing to let me know everything but I felt I was intruding too much and the suspense and curiosity of what happened to Crystal was too much for my head to calm.
I pushed buttons and pressed further.
“What happened to her?” His jaw twitched angrily and he closed his eyes as if he was recovering from a bad memory he was running from.
“It’s okay Fanuel, you don’t need to say it.”
I told him and regretted bringing this topic.
“We both had an accident.” He blurted out frowning as if in pain, his Adam apple popped up and down.
Swallowing hard.Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!
He was having a hard time trying to talk and I really had to stop him this time around.
“It’s okay, that’s enough…you don’t need to tell me what happened, please.”
I’ve seen him in a painful and a pity mode, so seeing him this way was making me feel very bad for even bringing this topic up.
We all have a tough past that’s likely to remain buried.
“It was her birthday so I went to visit her at her apartment. I had intentions of proposing to her before I travel out to Canada to complete my degree.”
He paused and sighed, still facing upwards but with a relaxed mode now, while I eagerly waited for him to continue.
“I reached her apartment, very anxious to propose and give her the most beautiful gift ever, only to go to her room and saw her moaning under Alex who was hitting on her.”
He laughed and continued.
“Nothing could describe my rage and fury then. I was just dazed, frozen, surprised and extremely pissed. I demanded an explanation but she wasn’t even feeling remorseful whatsoever.
She asked me to leave so that she would come over and explain. On a normal day, I’d have foolishly left. That was how I was obsessed with Crystal.
But not this time, I dragged her out after she wore her clothes and drag her into the car
She was going to give me an explanation at that moment. I wanted to take her to the hotel or somewhere serene but Alex glared in anger at my outburst and told me to fuck off from his Girl!!
I couldn’t accept that!
I’ve known Crystal since high school and she was the only one that I found worthy. She was clean, beautiful and flawless.
I refused to believe that she was seeing Alex.
I drove like a maniac on the road but I was careful. Meanwhile Alex was trailing and following me with so much speed.
I wasn’t even aware of that until the unimaginable happened.
I took a sharp brake on my pedal to avoid running into an oncoming car but Alex was too fast.”
His voice broke and I gasped, not wanting to believe what he was about to say.
“He was too fast and he crashed into us, sending the car into the middle of the road and everything went blank.
She died at the spot, while I was rushed to the hospital.
Before the accident, she screamed at my face that she was never in love with me. I was just the big fish she was not letting go easily and she’s sorry.
She was in love with Alex and I pushed her to her death…. I Ki…”
“No Fanuel, you didn’t!!”
“That won’t work on me Christine, don’t coax me. I killed her”
“Fanuel please listen to me…. There was Every chance for you to get to your destination safely and her side while she heads home or you drop her off but Alex came into the way.
Alex killed her, not you?” I scream at him with tears on my face.
How can he harbor all that guilt for something that wasn’t his fault?
It was evident he was crazy about her and had every right to be angry but not blaming himself for her death.
“Alex thinks I killed her, and he’s hellbent on getting back at me. He’s tried ways to kill me but failed.”
“To hell with Alex, stop harboring self hatred for something that’s not your fault. Stop it please..” I pleaded but he closed his eyes.
“I don’t know Christine…. this feeling, this guilt made me swore never to do anything with a woman again. I accepted it, angry at Crystal for betraying me and mad at myself for killing her.”
“Do you still like her? Even if she surfaces now?”
I asked, not believing I’m getting jealous of the dead.
“Not when I’ve seen someone with a pure heart, I don’t think anyone can replace you Christine…you…you’re totally different and new to me.”
“I…Fanuel, I’m sort of still trying to digest everything. One thing I’m sure of is I find myself accepting you and getting attached to you each day.
I’m just scared for the worse to happen.”
“Christine, look at me.” He cups my face and inched closer.
“I’ve hurt you enough for me to try it again as a mistake. I will never repeat history. I promise…I love you badly Christine.”
I liked this man too, a lot.
But what if he changes his mind? He talked about the deal, the contract.
I sighed and pushed the negative thoughts away.
He loves me and I should enjoy every bit of it.
I straddled him and wrapped hands on his neck, listening to his quick breaths and kissed him.
He kisses me back slowly, not with lust. Just a gentle kiss passing so many messages through my spine.
I grabbed the back of his neck and sank deeper into him, feeling every sweetness of his lips.
We continued in that rhythm for some minutes before breaking off the kiss to catch some breath.
His gaze not leaving mine as he edges closer and asked me something that made me jerk in fear not expecting that at all.
“What did your father do to you?”
He kissed my earlobes and I shiver from the impact but I trembled more at the question.
I don’t know if I can trust him enough to tell him about the shameful thing I went through in the hands of my step father.
I would literally break into shreds if he used it against me tomorrow and rub it all over my face at how shameless and useless I was.
As If sensing my tenseness, he rocked my back slowly.
“It’s okay Christine, you can trust me.”
He says and I sighed, starting from the scratch.
“He raped me.”