Catching feelings
Larissa’s POV
I heard the front gate rustle open from Declan’s room where I was sitting on the marbled floors, softly rocking the toddler to sleep and struggling to control my own agitation.
The alpha has been gone for two days already, even the clouds outside had the appearance of impending doom. The toddler wriggled in my arms, slowly opening his eyes at the sudden wave of noise that hit the room from the living room.
Startled, I ran my hands through my hair to keep him asleep before taking away the wooden knife in his hands and placing him on the bed.
I rose to my feet, still confused by the ruckus and pattered to the door. I pulled it open and my eyes narrowed at the sight. The guards that had been loitering upstairs and wouldn’t even give me some room to breathe were now nowhere in sight.
Instead, I was greeted by a coldness that was reminiscent of regular rainy days. There was nobody around, but I could hear the new-found boisterousness that engulfed the living room and piqued my curiosity.
Hesitating, I found myself wondering if we were actually under attack. But if we were, the aura of the entire builing would have been drastic. It wouldn’t sound like praises morphed with excitement. I sighed, resigning to whatever the case would be and reached the top of the stairs only to see the front door wide open and a good number of people crowding the entrance.
At the door stood the alpha in all of his essence, I could swear my heart skipped a beat seeing him stand there like that. He had both hands to his hips, breathing unsteadily while greeting the people of the pack that had taken refuge in the mansion the two days he was absent.
He had a tight smile on his lips as they bowed at him, murmuring greetings till he finally looked up, locking eyes with mine.
I saw something flash in his eyes when he looked at me, and my heart leaped again. I missed him, I was happy to see him although he was some considerable meters away, but he would never know that. He didn’t care enough to know that. He continued to bore holes in my soul until he was pulled into a hug by the same poised brown haired woman who’d asked me for some ice.
She whispered something in his ears and his face fell flat, mirroring the look in my eyes. I felt a small pang of hurt pinch at my chest at that, and I forced myself to look away.
Of course, she had to be one of his many admirers and it was even more hurtful that he always entertained their excesses. Yet I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him, and it was only a matter of time before his eyes met mine. Surprise flashed through them and I watched him slowly pry himself away from the woman before giving her a curt bow. The greetings and ecstatic noises continued even as I stood there, but I noticed him disappear from the crowd and start for the stairs.
I didn’t look away until he reached the top of the stairs, looking at me with unreadable eyes before heaving a sigh. I finally had to look away, the weight of his eyes on me was making moths flap around in my stomach.
“You’re not happy I came back?” He half hissed out, taking brisk steps towards me till he was only a few feet away from me.
His eyes were searching mine even as he cocked a brow, shoving both hands in his pockets. I took a step back, uncomfortable at the proximity before clearing my throat.
“Welcome back from your trip.” I muttered lowly before meeting his eyes again. He took one step towards me and I took another back. He did it again and I had to take yet another step back, slowly growing irritated. What was he doing? Was he here to taunt me again?
Before I could think about any other thing, he pulled me into an embrace. The hell? My blood ran cold at that, even I stood there frozen before simply heating up to the temperature of boiling water. I heard him sniff my hair and inhale deeply before letting out a raspy sigh.
“How’s my son?”
I felt the vibration resonate through my nerves. Having never been attached to him while he spoke, this was a not so welcome surprise. I didn’t particularly like that I liked the vibration, lost in my own little world in my head when he slowly shook me, waiting for a response.
“Yes…Declan. He’s asleep. I could get him for you if you’d like to see him.”
“No need.” He responded with a small snort and pulled away. “It’s good that way.”
“I’m glad you’re fine.” I blurted out and met his eyes, taking in his surprise and relaxation at the same time. The corners of his eyes twitched slightly, drawing my attention to his eyes.
His pupils were dilated, and the beautiful chromatic silver rings around hos irises appeared to have widened in the slightest. He let out another raspy sigh before speaking again.
But I didn’t pay attention to anything he said. I recognized the woody scent that had nearly driven me insane only a few days ago. It was taking a lot of willpower to simply stare at him and not do anything, so it was until I felt soft skin on my lips that snapped me straight back to reality.
He kissed me. He kissed me again and I flinched, meeting his face that had been brought to light by a small smirk that graced his lips.
“I –”
“Shush.”
He was searching my eyes again, this time for something else. Then he took my hand and pulled me towards his room. He was violent with the door knob, jamming it when it wouldn’t come undone. I bit back a giggle, remembering the last time he fought with the door.
“Fuck…” He growled lowly, kicking the door open forcefully before pulling me inside by my wrists. He shut the door to the dim room, turning back to look and me. I was certain he enjoyed the feeling of seeing him cower away from him. Because when he did, he smirked and closed the distance between us in swift steps; only sparing me a glance before latching his lips onto mine. Something at the back of my mind was telling me how wrong this was. But a part of me wanted to just enjoy the feeling of him raking through my body and kissing me like I was the most important thing in the world.
Curse you, mating season.
I brought my hands to circle his neck, tilting my neck and letting him explore my mouth. I had no significant skills, but he took the lead, tugging at my bottom lip before gently thrusting through with his tongue. It didn’t take long for the heat to travel to my core, and I couldn’t help but let out a soft moan at the feel of his tongue.
He gently pushed us both till my legs hit the edge of the bed and fell with me without leaving my lips for once. I wanted to let my hands explore his rock-hard chest, so I let my fingers do all the work slowly undoing his buttons, tracing his pectus and feeling his nipples harden.
Euphoria wasn’t a solid description of how I felt when he started to kiss away from my lips, grunting lowly as he kissed his way to the nape of my neck. He began to suck gently at the same spot and I let out another moan at that, thrusting my hands into the silky softness of his hair. I felt him smile against my skin before biting it ever so gently.NôvelDrama.Org © content.
“How does that feel?” He whispered against my skin. It felt tingly as much as it was it was teasing. Whatever words I had to say were stuck at the back of my throat. I couldn’t say anything, instead I let out a low hum and felt him smile again before biting harder. It was beginning to hurt, but I loved it anyways. Fisting his hair, I let him continue, arching my back ever so slightly.
My legs were quivering even as the heat grew in my core. I felt fear rouse itself in me, was I actually going to do this now? I really didn’t want to care anymore. I would rather live in the moment and regret it later. He began kissing his way up again, quickly recapturing my lips swiftly before thrusting his tongue back in to twirl around mine. I gasped softly at the intensity. He was kissing me so hard that I feared he would draw blood at some point.
His fingers got to work too, leaving my hips to caress the skin on my thighs after my flowery dress had ridden up so high. They continued to travel up my body; he was taking his time distracting me with his lips and working his fingers till they grazed my waist. I was ticklish there and I winced, but those strong hands held me in place. I already felt my own nipples start to hurt, straining against the fabric of my bra. He pulled away and returned his lips to my neck, prying off my dress slowly until the chiffon fabric had pooled around my waist.
Before I could think again, his lips had taken their home on my chest. He continued to kiss his way down without undoing my bra, just kissing over it teasingly before running one fine string of kisses along my abdomen with soft grunts. I couldn’t hold back any more moans even if they were muted because Declan’s room was just next door, I let myself relish in the moment.
But they stopped. They stopped all too quickly; his hands, his lips, his kisses and the seductive shine in his eyes. Instead, he just hovered over me like a mortified frozen statue.
“Amaya?” He whispered harshly, running glances over my body before his expression contorted into a disgusting frown. Confused, I was looking at him in hopes for an explanation, but he said nothing and propped himself away to the empty side of his bed.
He was doing this again. And I let him do it. I forced myself to sit up as well, feeling disgusted with myself and with the selfish bastard in front of me who had his hands in his hair like I had less than a minute ago. My hands were trembling as I struggled to fix my clothes, and I felt hot, angry tears brimming in my eyes.
I hated him. I hated the power he had over me and the emptiness in his eyes when he finally turned to look at me. He looked angry, and the fact that he looked like that made me even angrier.
“You should leave.” He muttered, rising to his feet and staring at nothingness. I couldn’t believe it. He brought me her himself!
“No.”
All of the words remained stuck fat the back of my throat. I clutched my chest in agonizing hurt, finally breaking. I couldn’t hold back the hurt in my eyes, fuck him if he thought I was a plaything for his use. “No, I said no!”
“Excuse me?”
“What the fuck am I to you?! Why do you keep toying with my feelings?!” I screamed out, rising to my feet as well. He would probably order for my beheading tonight, but I could care less. I was so damn tired of this cycle and his own problems.
“What have I done wrong to you?” My voice had grown into a harsh whisper as I struggled to blink back the tears that were now on free fall. “You keep saying one thing and doing the other…I’m not Amaya for fuck’s sake! I don’t know who she is. I’m not Amaya…” My voice had broken completely at this point, mirroring the look in his eyes as he stood there staring at me like I’d given him some reality check.
“I will never be Amaya, so give me a damn break if you still think that somehow I’d become your lost mate.”
“Shut up.”
“Well, I don’t want to!” I cried out again, snapping at him and forcing him to step back. “I know your wife is dead and you want her back, but that has nothing to do with me! It’s not my fault that I’m so hopelessly in love with you, Alpha…”
I gulped at that. I should have stopped myself instead of blurting out like that. But the deed had been done already, and I could swear I saw confusion flash in his eyes at that.
It only fueled my own embarrassment. I couldn’t stand being in the same room as him any longer.
“Just leave me the fuck alone.” I choked out one last time before pushing past him and running out of the door.
I didn’t stop once to look at him; I didn’t want to hate myself even more. I ran straight to my room, slamming it shut before climbing into my bed to cry my eyes out on my pillow. I rolled myself up to a fetal position, sobbing harshly and screaming into my pillow in self disgust.
Fuck you, Kaden,